The Bathroom Debate, Let's Stop Argueing and Come Up With Solutions

I

I have not posted in a few years however with the constant debating about hundreds of different issues on face book and in everyday life I have decided to begin to type up blog posts again.

 

In this post I will be speaking up on the bathroom debate. There are many people with different views on this topic and both, if you take the time to listen are legitimate. Yes, they both have very good concerns and both sides want to keep people safe.

 

The first side is the trans gender side, which people who are transgender want to use the bathroom of the gender which they identify most with. According to the website office for justice programs; "50 percent of the people who died" in hate crimes in against LGBTQ members in the United States, were transgender, also one in two people who identify as transgender are sexually assaulted at some point in their life. According to a quote from ABC news “All the data and all the evidence shows protecting transgender people only increase public safety,” which protecting the safety of all individuals, should be a high public interest.

 

 Now the second side of the debate is the people who are afraid that someone might pretend to be transgender and go into a women restroom and assault females. This is also a legitimate reason for being scared, and has also caused some people to be extra paranoid. Some people have also brought religion into it and have gone into stores and waved a Bible around and shouted throughout the store in protest, which is more a sign of hate, than actual Christian beliefs. For those who are Christian and expect society to stay still, read your Bible. The rest of the world will not follow your beliefs, if you are in anger and quick to judge. For the people who look under bathroom stalls to "see" if the person is actually female, you have become what you were frightened of. You are a pervert, a pepping Tom  and deserve to get arrested for your crime. Yes, there will be people who pretend to be transgender and go into bathrooms, and try something, and they will get punished regardless of their gender. Here is a link to some of the instances: http://www.dailywire.com/news/5190/5-times-transgender-men-abused-women-and-children-amanda-prestigiacomo.

 

People often stick to one side of the debt or the other, without looking at the other side, which is foolish arrogance.

 

Life story: I currently work retail, and the other day I was asked by an older woman if I was transgender. I was in slight shock, because of the hate that came out of her mouth. I told her I wasn't and apparently, she thought I was because I was wearing short socks and between the small one inch gap she saw that my legs had a little hair. In my head I was thinking "yes, women grow hair on their legs, and yes I was too lazy to shave for one day, because of working multiple jobs." Normally I do not get too upset, however with dealing with many customers lately who have said very nasty commits towards others, I was slightly shaken.

 

There is also a third side in this debate that has gotten buried, by the hate groups and transgender community, they are victims of sexual assault.

Here are some links to what people who have dealt with sexual assault first hand  talking about the bathroom debt (Their words are better than mine.):

• http://thefederalist.com/2015/11/23/a-rape-survivor-speaks-out-about-transgender-bathrooms/
• "There’s no way to make everyone happy in the situation of transgender locker room use. So the priority ought to be finding a way to keep everyone safe. I’d much rather risk hurting a smaller number of people’s feelings by asking transgender people to use a single-occupancy restroom that still offers safety than risk jeopardizing the safety of thousands of women and kids with a policy that gives would-be predators a free pass."
• http://dailysignal.com/2016/01/25/sexual-assault-victims-speak-out-against-washingtons-transgender-bathroom-policies/ 
• “I know the full weight of not speaking out and people getting hurt,” Simon said, adding: Sex abuse is a silent epidemic and you’re silenced because of the shame, the guilt, there’s a lot of manipulation – that you want it, that it’s your fault. To finally get to the place where I can say I was a little girl that that happened to it there was no shame there was no guilt…That is why so many women stay silent. It’s such a twisting of the soul."
• http://www.ijreview.com/2015/12/483296-rape-survivor-reveals-why-shes-got-a-problem-with-transgender-bathrooms/
• http://madworldnews.com/rape-survivor-trans-bathroom/
• http://reason.com/blog/2016/04/26/sow-rape-culture-hyperbole-reap-transgen

 

This debate is why I decided to come up with a solution. Everyone has decided to continuously debate, instead, let's come up with a solution.

 

Here it is:

I understand that number five is not ideal, however, knowing that there are hundreds of people currently in fear of the bathroom laws, coming into place, it seems best. Number five surveillance would not be in the individual stalls, but outside to make sure, if an incident would occur, quick action could be taken.

Locker rooms would have to be renovated with individual areas for people to change similar to the bathrooms, and gym classes would have to be either shortened or abolished to give students more time to change and shower (If required.).  Also laws where no one would be allowed to change in the main areas would also have to be implemented as well. People would have to be notified of such changes via signs, postings and word of mouth communications. Violators would have to be given a fine as well as possible jail time for repeated offences.  

Make the bathrooms more private and it will help protect everyone.

Websites Cited:

• http://www.ovc.gov/pubs/forge/sexual_numbers.html
• http://abcnews.go.com/US/sexual-assault-domestic-violence-organizations-debunk-bathroom-predator/story?id=38604019
• http://www.dailywire.com/news/5190/5-times-transgender-men-abused-women-and-children-amanda-prestigiacomo
• http://thefederalist.com/2015/11/23/a-rape-survivor-speaks-out-about-transgender-bathrooms/
• http://dailysignal.com/2016/01/25/sexual-assault-victims-speak-out-against-washingtons-transgender-bathroom-policies/ 
• http://www.ijreview.com/2015/12/483296-rape-survivor-reveals-why-shes-got-a-problem-with-transgender-bathrooms/
• http://madworldnews.com/rape-survivor-trans-bathroom/
• http://reason.com/blog/2016/04/26/sow-rape-culture-hyperbole-reap-transgen

Do What You Love!

If you love something, do it! I have been told this hundreds of times, contrastingly I have also been told be sure it makes you money! Today in one of my classes we (being the students) where told (WARNING! about to paraphrase very badly) "If you just want a job, leave! If your in this for money, be a welder, an accountant or plumber! We need those people! If you want to come home every night leave! If you do not have fun doing this get out! If you are passionate about Theatre and love it stay." (P.S. I'm Studying Theatre (Yes the RE is necessary.)) That made me think, (okay a lot of things make me think) why would someone begin to do something that they're not passionate about? I had to take a look back at myself. A few years ago I entered college thinking "Great! I know what I'm going for and I'll never change it! I'll make a lot of money, help  support my family and continue with this for the rest of my life!" I hated what I was going for, but I knew others in the program who where downright passionate about what they were studying, I wasn't the worst, but still I couldn't be my best, because I did not love what I was doing. I was declared in a different major by my second semester... Do what you love, if you are passionate about it the money part may come, not overnight but through years of hard work and training. The scientists did not reach the moon in a day! They failed and learned from those failures and kept on doing what they loved and when they reached their goal, they made new ones! I have nothing left to say, just do what you love!                       

How to survive your first two years of college...

1. Ask for help... even if you have a question you think is stupid ask it either in class, after class or via email. (P.S. asking in person is more likely to get your results.)

2. Don't be afraid about not knowing the answer, believe it or not college is a place to learn and if you truly do not know it's best to say you don't know.

3. If you do not know an answer ask and or look for the answer. There are awesome trained professors who are paid to help answer question and there is a magical place called the school library and when all else fails there is the internet.

4. Do the reading! (All of it!)

5. If you do skip the reading for a day and get called on in class (yes it does happen at random...) admit it, unless you really know what your talking about, it will save time and embarrassment.

5. Spell check is a friend that will turn on you at times... Buy a dictionary.

6. The writing center is your friend, don't wait until finals to find it.

7. Talk to your professors, about goals, life, class... etc. Establishing a relationship in which you talk to your professors will help you. They are more likely to help you and remember you if you talk to them.

8. Professors cannot read your mind (shocking isn't it!) if you are having an off day or something traumatic has happened in your life, such as your dog died or relative is sick and your worried, let them know! Most professors are willing to work it out with you.

9. Do not party too much... Do not party during the week... Do not even go out the night before a test! I learned about going out before a test the hard way, it can be a whole grade difference. Plus people who do party within their first two years are the most likely to end their schooling prematurely. (there are lots of them out there!)

10. Open your textbooks! This may seem simple but some people do not even take their books out of the plastic wrapping. Opening your text book can help you find all those random facts that professors throw in tests and homework.

11. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!

12. Homework and classes come before social life, your friends will understand the words "I have homework" or "I have reading" are meant to be used frequently.

13. Some semesters will allow for an active social life, most require less time with friends more studying.

14. College is 10:90 some say 20:80, but 10:90 is much more realistic. 10:90 means 10 percent of the work is done in the classroom 90 percent is done outside of the classroom.

15. Take as many classes that interest you as possible. (a college with a BA will require you to take classes outside your choice of study, but will better prepare you for a career, plus people who hire workers prefer BA.)

16. If your not interested in a class that your required to take, pretend to be, try to be or drop the class if there are alternatives to the class and take the alternative a different semester. Some studies show that if your interested or pretend to be interested in a class that you take, you will generally do better in that class. (Not always but quite often.)

17. Don't overwhelm yourself if you cannot handle a full load, do not take a full load. (you usually find this out in your second semester.)

18. Learn how to study! most people in their first two years of college are learning how to study and which study methods work best for them. (mine is a combination of teaching/ talking about what I learned in a class to a friend, pet or sibling, rewriting my notes and flashcards. I know some people who read everything two of three times or live in the library or their dorm.)

19. It's okay to fail! Crazy right? I have learned that if you fail a test or an assignment it does not doom you for life. It turns into an opportunity to learn from your mistake, ask your professor to go over the test or homework with you, ask if you can possibly come in for help with your homework or if there is a tutor available.

20. It's better to fail then not do the assignment at all. when you fail you still get point, where as if you do not do your assignment you get nothing.

21. Free food is great!

22. Try to eat as healthy as you can.

23. Walking places and walking often is better then no exercise at all. I mostly walk between and after classes because I'm hyper active and it's really hard to sit still, but I have realized it's much easier to walk around for half an hour to an hour then to go to a gym. (Most people do not have the motivation to do this... at least I don't.)

24.Take naps throughout the day 15 to 20 minutes can be a lifesaver. (Remember to set an alarm!)

25. Find at least an hour a week to relax, college is hard work. It is stressful allowing yourself an hour on a weekend to relax in someway will help you. I have found resting or just being quiet for five to ten minutes a day relieves stress. Some people drink  tea or coffee, watch a movie, well others join a extra curricular or non-competitive sport.

26. Don't be afraid to switch your major, if you find that what you where going for in the first place makes you board to death or isn't you cup of tea, it is perfectly fine to switch your major. (I switched mine.) Many people will switch theirs two, three some even four times. Remember students today are often going to school not knowing what they want to go for, and college students now are generally much younger then the ones who went to college generations before.

27. Make sure your at a place that is accredited! Some colleges are not and it can turn into a waste of time if you spend thousands of dollars and find out that you cannot pursue your career because you earned the wrong degree. (BA is better than BFA or an AA if your into the arts.) A BA is usually the safe way to go.

28. Talk to other students in your classes! Find at least one or two people to talk to in your class, they can help you with homework at times and become good friends even if they are in a different major then you.

29. Talk to students in your major! They can be encouraging and very helpful. Whether your in the same class a year or two behind them or ahead you can help them and they can help you. Many may become some of your closest friends.

30. Talk to the coffee cart workers and other workers on your campus, they can and will encourage you on your worst days. It can all start with a simple "hello, how are you doing?"

 

Mixed Monday Quotes

During the school year I like to make up random ideas here are some of them:

 I like thinking,
thinking is good,
I think it would be sad if one couldn't think...
or would I think that at all?









Many PEOPLE are TALL,
I look up to them.













 


You say the flower is blue,
I say the flower is violet,
yet another says the flower is maroon...
Who is right?




Sunflowers make me smile,
Lavender makes me calm,
Cattails make me dream and wonder.



I think one should learn something new each day, or else the day is wasted, even if the thing learned is something stupid.

 

Simple Message

 

Simplicity... is there anything else to say?

A Person is a Person

A Person is a Person No Matter What,
It's Not their race,
It's Not their face,
It's Not their clothing, wealth or stature,
It's Not their beliefs,
It's Not their reprieves,
But It's the things deep inside,
the things we try to hide,
Every Person wants to be Loved,
And Every Person wants to know someone cares for them,
For We Are All Persons...

What is Love?

Again I face the same old question that started my whole blogging career. The question is what is love? The truth be told I still am not sure... maybe love is so deep it cannot be fully understood... or so simple that our understanding cannot grasp it? Here is a video I found which got me thinking again.